It’s pantry week at our house. Hubby gets paid this week and so we eat whatever is in the house until I shop again. My 5 year old son has literally asked me for food every hour on the hour … Continue reading
It’s no secret that eating too much food, especially the wrong kinds of foods (the ones I’m speaking of actually are not food) and a sedentary lifestyle can get you a gargantuan body. Another huge factor in weight gain, one that isn’t talked about much and really does the most damage is denial. This past week I realized I am an expert at it.
I started getting chubby when I was 7. I became extremely self-conscious and began to dress in ways that covered up every nook and cranny of my body. I was 120 lbs in 5th grade. Although I was a bit larger than the other kids, my parents had raised me well enough to know I was a complex person and that there are many ways people are beautiful. I knew my hair was nice, I was pleasant-looking enough and had a good personality. These things were on my mind most of the time when I thought about myself, even until recently.
However, underneath it all I was keeping a secret from myself. I just found out about it recently. I had never really assessed myself physically. I had never allowed myself to notice just how big I was. I never let myself look lower than my neck in the bathroom mirror. I was downright angry when people took pictures of my whole body and even would be quite blunt about them not doing it in the first place. I was lying to myself and I wasn’t going to have anyone mess that up with an unflattering picture. I was so deep in the lie that every time I had begun to lose weight, I would stop around my 10% mark and think “okay great, you obviously look great now, you can go ahead and take it easy on eating right”. What a LIE!
Last week I reached my 10%. I still felt really fat. I looked at my body in the mirror. Really looked at it in the mirror. All the way around and seeing it for what it is. Not what I wish it was. Not focusing on the things I like about it. Just seeing it. I was surprised to notice that I am still really big. I shared with my husband how upset I was about what I saw. I’m blessed to have a husband that truly loves me the way that I am and he offered words of encouragement that kept me from breaking down completely. But the sad truth is, I’m VERY overweight and I need to keep going.
I have lived the last 25 years only trying to look at the good things about myself and pushing the truth about my body away. This is not a pity party. This is me knowing I need to go all the way. I will not be satisfied until I am a normal and healthy weight. Sometimes it’s so hard to really look at yourself and see the truth. I am happy for the awakening and am sure this is my last time ever trying to lose this weight. I’m just so done with being big.
I have seen a few articles and videos lately about how calorie counting is inaccurate and if you are on the Paleo Diet, it’s not even necessary . Although my interest was slightly peaked at this news, I just knew … Continue reading
A couple of days ago I posted about not losing any weight in the last three weeks. My weight loss had stalled out completely. Thankfully, I had been tracking my food in the My Net Diary app on my phone and … Continue reading
I’m going on 3 months of changing over to a more healthy lifestyle. The shock has worn off and I love living this way. I feel better every single day. However, I haven’t lost weight in at least two weeks. I keep fluctuating up and down about the same 6 lbs. This is with a whole foods mostly PALEO diet and regular vigorous exercise and light weight training. The weight started coming off quickly in the first two months, now I seem to be at a dead stand still. I’m ready to pull my hair out!!!
Now the question is, how do I jump-start my weight loss again? Thank God I kept a food journal on my “My Net Diary” app on my phone because now I can go back in and see what I was doing to lose the first large amount of weight and do that exact thing again. Sometimes I will eat the same meals for two or three weeks, then I’ll find some new recipe or two or three of them and then my diet shifts again. Something I am eating now, or maybe not eating is keeping me from losing. I just know it!
So today, I will do my exercise, and I will fully evaluate my food behaviors to get this party started again. I do have to give myself some props here. Number 1 for tracking my food, I feel relieved to know I can go back in and see what worked for me. Number 2 that I didn’t just give up at this point and go back to my old ways! Finally Number 3 because my mind is really changed! I will never go back to an unhealthy lifestyle and I am so happy to say that, once and for all!